I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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