Kiss
Puke
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
