He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
