So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
