i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
