I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
