she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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