Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
