Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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