:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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