why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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