Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
