good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
