I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
