i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
