He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just want to make out with him forever
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
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