I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
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