She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Im part way to drunk.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
