i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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