Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
