just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
