I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
