Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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