I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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