Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
