saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize