Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
