so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
