Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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