Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
My dick has a subreddit
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
