i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
