dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
