So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Randomize
