so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
