so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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