I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
