First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
