Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
