I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize