Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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