weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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