He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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