he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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