Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
