there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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