One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
The power of my boobs compel you
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize