dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize