After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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