I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
