Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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