I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Randomize
