i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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