Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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