I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Man, jail baloney is awful.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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