Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
