good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
