my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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