Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
