I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
