I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
she peed on how many people?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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