Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
