No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize