I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
