i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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