Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Please don't give away my fajitas
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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