sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
