I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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