I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
only if we run a train.
done.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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