what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Randomize
