You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
