I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
