Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize