Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
