We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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