and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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